this bio is only hip if i keep it simple, vague, and in all lower case letters.
June 25, 2011
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About love.
Love is such a crazy thing. It’s the only thing that can make you completely throw who you were out the window, and be willing to change for the happiness of another person. This can be a great thing, but it can also be such a dangerous thing. Recently, I’ve become a person that I really don’t want to be. I’ve been acting like the kind of person that I used to think was ridiculous.
However, it’s hard to help myself. Love really becomes a drug. It’s an addiction that some people have an easier time kicking. It’s baffling how in your mind, you can think that you’re doing a good thing, and you have good intentions, but it’s only after you’ve actually done it that you realize how crazy it all seems and how ridiculous what you just did was. You continuously dig yourself into a deeper hole until finally you’re just hoping that you dig enough to see light again. Personally, I’ve made a huge amount of mistakes that I’m not proud of. However, any mistake that I’ve made has stemmed from the thought of bettering circumstances and trying to grasp at a fleeting love.
I guess though, it’s important to realize that people are so different. What to you might seem sweet or thoughtful, could wind up just seeming like a burden or a nuisance to somebody else. It’s crazy how our minds can work in such different ways. It’s important though, to respect eachother’s different ways. I’ve not been doing that, and that’s where the problems come from.
The moment that you start needing someone else is the moment that you lose sight of who you are. I don’t want that to happen to me again. It’s ruined friendships, it’s destroyed happiness, and it’s burned memories. It’s so important to find love. It’s important to keep those close to you who truly care for you. It’s also important though to not need someone. Every now and then you’ll meet a person who makes you feel incredible, and you think that you need, but you can’t lose yourself in the whirlwind.
I’ve been legitimately embarrassed by the way that I’ve acted recently. This is not where I ever saw myself going, nor who I ever saw myself becoming. The good thing though, is that people can always change. If you aren’t who you want to be, then become what you want to become. Tomorrow is my 21st birthday. It’s a time for new beginnings, and a time to allow things to mend. I’ll always be fond of the love that I shared, but I’ll never be proud of the way that I acted when it was over. Knowing that you’ve become a burden on someone that you cared so much about is one of the worst feelings imaginable. But again, there is hope for change. I’m making a vow to change. I hope that all of the hurt that I’ve done will fade and that the only thing left will be the beautiful memories.
This is probably the realest that I’ll ever get on this thing.
